When I take a moment to reflect on my relationship with my Master I think of the words that every submissive or slave probably thinks of: protected, loved, cared for, owned… these words make me feel warm inside.
They cover me like a thick comforter on a cold day and I’m happy, in love, I am… His.
He takes me in His arms and shields me from the world and in return I serve Him. I give Him my whole heart, I put myself and all that I am at His feet knowing that He would never do anything to hurt me, not intentionally, not ever. How do i know this? Right here, my heart beats for Him and almost 8 years later He still makes my heart flutter when He tells me that I am His. That He loves me so much and will never let me go. I am His… but as He loves and protects me, who shields His heart? Who holds Him up when He needs support?
In my place at His feet have I forgotten that He is not only my Dominant, not only my Master, but a Man?.
A Man in this world who faces the struggles that all men face. A Man who has woes that He holds close to Him so that He can shield me from even those things and… I failed.
Somehow i have lost focus that a slave is not only to surrender all but to BE all that her Master needs. A friend, a lover, a listening ear, a warm shoulder… anything and everything that He needs.
Sometimes I am consumed with my own feelings, real-world issues cloud my mind and I find myself at His feet waiting for Him to center me, as only He knows how, and last night I looked up at my Master and I felt a need.
I felt that He needed more from me than I had been giving and I felt a profound guilt and selfishness that I had not felt before.
Perhaps Master would say that this is not true. Perhaps He would say “it’s fine girl” and go on, strong and always protective of His slave, but my heart tells me that He needs me.
He needs me to kneel at His feet, confident in my place and just love Him. Reassure Him the way that He reassures me that we will get through everything together because I am His and will always be whatever and wherever He needs me to be. Very much like the yin and yang, we will both be what we need from each other and will be stronger because of it. We will grow and feed from each other making our union stronger. The leash wrapped securely around His hand and I will not only know my place but feel it without needing to be reminded.
I am His and His heart is mine.